<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Help! A Giant Spider! by deanlockiradall</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25280497">Help! A Giant Spider!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanlockiradall/pseuds/deanlockiradall'>deanlockiradall</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Founder of Diabolism, Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Mo Dao Zu Shi, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Giant Spiders, Humor, Reaction, Silly, Spoilers, note fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:15:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>593</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25280497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanlockiradall/pseuds/deanlockiradall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What would you do if suddenly and inexplicably faced with a giant Huntsman spider?</p>
<p>A non-comprehensive character reaction experiment, jotted-notes style.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Help! A Giant Spider!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Wei Wuxian (youth):</b>
  <span> Traps it and uses it for a prank.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Wei Wuxian (Yiling Patriarch):</b>
  <span> If it’s aggressive toward people he cares about, it gets destroyed immediately. If it bothers someone he hates, more power to it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Wei Wuxian (resurrected):</b>
  <span> Leaves it be unless someone makes a fuss. Then he’ll take care of it (or make Lan Wangji do it for him). If he’s in a more capricious mood, he may save it to teach the kids how to prank.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lan Wangji:</b>
  <span> Gives it one stern glance and it immediately does his bidding and scurries outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lan Xichen:</b>
  <span> Smiles beatifically at it and sends it outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lan Qiren:</b>
  <span> Lectures about the Lan Sect rules until it gets bored and disappears. If that fails, he throws a book at it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lan Sizhui: </b>
  <span>Catches it and puts it outside, tries to convince it to befriend the rabbits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lan Jingyi: </b>
  <span>Is absolutely disgusted by it and avoids going near it. Tries to squish it with a thrown book--mixed success. He kills it, but then he has dead spider guts on the wall and on his book (it was his favorite book, too).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Nie Huaisang:</b>
  <span> Screams and cries until someone takes care of it for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Nie Mingjue: </b>
  <span>A spider dares to approach him? What audacity! Fine, he’ll use it as a training lesson for Nie Huaisang.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Jiang Cheng:</b>
  <span> Destroys it. Immediately and utterly. All that’s left are scorch marks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Jiang Yanli:</b>
  <span> Coaxes it outside with food.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Madam Yu: </b>
  <span>Glares at it imposingly. If it doesn’t disappear out of fear, she will destroy it utterly, but without the scorch marks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Jiang Fengmian:</b>
  <span> Does nothing. The spider can coexist peacefully with humans and eat cockroaches, a mutually beneficial arrangement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Jin Zixuan: </b>
  <span>Orders someone else to take care of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Jin Ling:</b>
  <span> Commands Fairy to take care of it. If it gets close, screams and attempts to destroy it utterly (may require assistance).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Jin Zixun: </b>
  <span>Attempts to foist it on someone he hates, but gets the wrong person. Doesn’t own up to it, but is confused and angry when he doesn’t get the expected results.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Jin Guangyao: </b>
  <span>Coaxes it into a trap, then uses it to guard his dastardly treasures from small intruders (such as papermen). When it has outlived its usefulness, it disappears. Mysterious bits of spider are coincidentally fed to Jin Sect birds, but no one notices.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Su She: </b>
  <span>Attempts to foist it on someone he hates out of pure spite.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Xue Yang:</b>
  <span> Offers it sweets, but as soon as it so much as twitches, it gets dismembered and vivisected. He then declares death on all spiders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Xiao Xingchen: </b>
  <span>Leaves it be. If someone kicks up a fuss, he puts it outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Song Lan:</b>
  <span> Ignores it until it disappears into the shadows. If it continues to stay in sight, he catches it and puts it outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>A-Qing: </b>
  <span>Ignores it when Xue Yang is around, but commands Xiao Xingchen to get rid of it when they’re alone, and has to fight the temptation to dump it into Xue Yang’s clothes and hope it bites him where it hurts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Wen Chao:</b>
  <span> Ignores it unless commanded to kill it. Then, obliterates it utterly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Wen Qing:</b>
  <span> Studies its habits. Creates a barrier to keep it out of her way and her things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Wen Ning:</b>
  <span> Tries to reason with it. Fails. Attempts to coexist with it until Wen Qing or Wei Wuxian notices his dilemma and takes care of it for him. If A-Yuan asks, he will clumsily run around trying to catch it and fail (see waiting for help step).</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspired by real-life events...</p>
<p>I may come back to this and make it a collection with other fandoms, but I haven't decided.<br/>Feel free to vote in the comments :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>